its my..

So tomorrow is my 21st birthday. it kind of boggles me that I'm only 21. In some ways I feel old.. like 35 in other ways I feel 16. but either way.. its weird. I don't feel like its my birthday at all. It feels like its just another day.. but I guess that's what happens when you're older.

but in celebration.. I might just go and buy a beer at midnight. Lame.. yeah. but I just might because I CAN. :)

It's been a pretty exciting week. It's funny to think that a year ago today was the worst day of my life. I had just found out my Ex was with a new girl already and had been for a while. I can't even explain the amount of hurt and anger I felt. It makes me sick to think about.. I'm sure if you read my posts back in you could read the anger. But I'm glad to say a year later, I'm so much better than when that happened. I'm stronger and I've picked myself up. At that point I felt like my whole world shattered. My dreams were burned and nothing else good would come again.. well.. good has come and I'm far better off then I would have been. God gives us what we need and not what we want.. because what we want isn't always what we need.

but honestly.. this year has been the hardest of my life. Emotionally and physically I was challenged. I was taken to the edge and pushed off.. but I caught myself. Barely.. but I did.

Life's a crazy thing. Nothings ever going to be the way you want it, nothings ever going to be perfectly good. There's always going to be troubled times, but the important thing is how you sail through them. I guess my birthday is sort of a relief in a way. I survived this last year and here I am. I've learned a lot this year and by a lot I mean A LOT. More than any other year of my life.

one year older, a few years wiser as I see it. the funny thing is, I've always wanted to be 21. ya know, so I could drink and do all that cool stuff. but now with a baby, its not that exciting.. maybe if I were 21 2 years ago lol.

well I guess it's here.. I'm finally 21! My 19 year old self would be sooo excited.