stuck

Sometimes I just don't want to do anything. Nothing. I just want to lay, all day. Not have to worry, not have to listen, not have to talk just be. Sometimes I wish that tomorrow didn't come. I just don't want to deal with everything, all over again.
I'm just sick of dealing with everything and everyone. I'm sick of having to look over my shoulder everywhere I go. I'm sick of being the odd person out. I'm just sick of it all! I'm sick of the way people talk to me. How I'm treated, when the worse I ever do is stand up for myself. I'm sick of having to stand up for myself. I'm sick of defending myself and my decisions. I'm sick of being told what to do. I'm sick of everyone expecting me to be at their beck and call.

most of all I'm sick of feeling stuck. Stuck in this stupid house, stuck in this way of life. I want to be independent, I want to not rely on family or friends. I want to be able to to rely on myself only. So I don't have to answer to anyone. I'm sick of feeling like I have to do things. Sometimes I just want to disappear so no one can reach me and I can be alone to just breathe and be on my own for a minute. So I can go back and endure whatever else is next.

life is exhausting, especially when you have nothing to do and nowhere to go. Especially when you're stuck.