gluten-free cupcakes!

So yesterday I went to my first counseling appointment. I was sort of excited up until the next day then I was nervous. It wasn't too bad, I just explained what happened the last year and how it affects me still. I expected hear that I was being irrational and maybe some things I didn't want to hear but needed. No, I kind of heard everything I've been thinking for a long time. It kind of validated my feelings. Of course she doesn't know my Ex, if she did then she might think differently but again not.. she may be able to see through him like I do.
She agreed with some of the things that I have chosen to do, like staying single mostly because I would be dating for the wrong reasons. (Like to get back at my Ex, like it would even work lol) but still, wrong reasons and it would end up biting me in the ass in the end.
She also agreed with my journeling. Not only do I blog, but I have a written journal. My written journal is personal and I don't write about things like I do on here. I've kept one ever since I was 14.

but basically the point was, to not be so hard on myself. She also thinks I could benefit from some medication but I don't know if medicine is something that I need.. I'm not a medication person. I take insulin and thats about it for me. but my mom also thinks it's a good idea.. is it worth a try? Medicine scares me. lol

She also said somthings that caught me off guard because they were exactly what I was feeling, but without the words. Althought the word "vindication" has been in my head for a while now. I want to be vindicated for my struggles. I want people to know the truth, I want them to see my side and know the hell I was put through and I want people to take my side. I know that's impossible. I don't have nearly enough influence and I can't make people hate someone for something he did to me and my daughter. Plus we're not in kindergarten we can't exactly take sides. but I want people to KNOW. I want them to understand. How can you do that though? When no one will listen, and if they do, will they even believe it? You can't exactly believe something you don't see and the reason know one has seen it, is because they haven't been there with him. but anyways..

After my appointment me and Ev went to see Rachel and Liam. We usually do that on Wednesdays that shes NOT in freakin' Hawaii (butthead) or working. Ev was being a grumpy bear as usual because she refuses to take naps. So I spent the majority of the time trying to calm her down and keep her occupied so we could talk lol. Liam just hung out haha. Rach and I had a gluten-free cupcake party! woot, woot! They turned out cute and they were pretty delish for being gluten free. Rachel is celiac so she can't eat gluten, so we always have to eat gluten free. I miss making cupcakes. :( I need to start again!

Plus I discovered something else. I know now why I get kind of frustrated with Ev. Yeah, she is a very, very, very ,very  tough baby, but shes also right on track for growing. I knowt hat sounds weird but I'm used to My cousins little girl Bell's. She grew FAST. She is like a 2 in a half year old rather than a 1 in a half year old. She had four teeth by four months, she was never a baby really. She was always really strong and really independent, same with Liam. They could always hold their heads, up they've always been strong. Ev is strong but she's growing at a normal rate rather than super fast. I'm not used to it! lol