uh, thanks?

So I had to go to a meeting at the health department yesterday concerning Evs insurance. Plus I think they mostly wanted to talk to me about good ol birth control so I don't go popping out any babys again any time soon. Well lucky them, I already have two ways of preventing any future life coming from me. 1. this little old thing called mirena. 2. abstinence. I should have practiced number 2 a little better. But seriously, I don't think I'll allow another guy to touch me for at least.. uh.. 5 years? maybe more. I have no faith in men or finding one thats sutible for me. So, abstinence. No problem since I'm entirely grossed out by sex and men right now.
but the health department gave me some condoms "just in case" I guess thats reasonable. But they didn't give me just any condoms. They gave me flavored condoms. Uhh yeah, orange flavored to be exact. So are you trying to say to pratice safe oral sex? I guess in a way that would prevent pregnancy. If only I had thought of that! (okay I'm making myself sick)

thank you Tooele county health department for the orange flavored condoms, I'll be sure to hold onto those..
and don't you worry, I don't think I'll be adding anymore little ones to the population for a long, long time. but thanks for the concern!