It's a sad day

So Here I was today, feelin a bit sorry for myself, a little bit heartbroken, a little sad and a little disppointed. I tried to drown down those thoughts by playing with Ev and coloring with her and letting her have little sips of my Caramel frappe (don't judge!)

To be honest it was a silly reason I was sad. It was stupid and dumb and immature to feel sad. So of course that made me feel worse about myself because sometimes I wish I could just write people off and act like they were nothing. Sometimes I wish I could turn my heart into stone when it came to certain people/things. because its all silly and stupid and dumb.

Then I turned on the news.

To think that someone could mindlessly kill 20 children is beyond me. Children. Small, innocent, helpless little babies. Who are just trying to learn and make friends. Children who have no idea that violence like this even exsists. Who just want it to be Christmas.

My heart goes out to the parents who have lost their children. Their innocent little babies. The children they have hopes, dreams and wishes for. The parents who sent them off to school, so in the future they could achieve those dreams. Now they won't be coming home..

I could never imagine losing Ev. That's a loss I can't even fathom and that I don't even want to think about. I know I couldn't live and I wouldn't want to live without her. A child is like a little piece of your soul, and when you lose your baby, you lose that piece. Losing a child would be devastating, even losing a child that isn't born would be hard and tragic. I don't even want to fathom the loss of my baby and my heart goes out to the people who have to deal with this.

And for all the children who survived. They can rejoice with their life and their families can be grateful too. But these children will have to grow up with this tragedy in their head. I couldn't imagine experiencing such a cruel, horrific act of violence and loss. They have to know that this violence exsists, they have to deal with the loss of their teachers and classmates. They are going to be scared and so will their parents. This act of violence will affect the lifes of all these people forever. How cruel is that?

I don't understand how people can do things like that, I can't imagine why or what would provoke anyone to harm anyone for that matter. Maybe I don't want to understand. All I know is that this is a sad day for the world. A very sad, horrifying day. My heart goes out to all those people. I know I will be snuggling my little baby girl and loving on her as much as I can. Life is precious and the people in our life are precious. All those silly feelings and people that bother us, don't give them that time of day because there are far more important things to put your times and feelings in. Because if it were all to end, at least you know you gave it your all and your heart.