2012 in review

2012 has been quite the year!

I guess I'll get my new years post out of the way!

This year started out interesting. I had high hopes for the year. Ev was growing up and I was trying to grow up myself.

I learned a lot about myself this year, and honestly I think as time goes on, I'll learn more and more. But this year was definetly a growing experience.

If I hadn't mentioned it, I had a little postpartum depression after I had Ev. Not the scary I wanna kill my baby kind. But the kind where I just hated myself and didn't want to wake up and do anything. I just wanted to sleep.

I was like that until I went to counseling which helped A LOT.

I'm so grateful that I was talked into going, because I needed it, BAD.

Then I bought my care this year! Which was a big goal of mine to do! I was so happy and I still LOVE my car.

Ev had her first road trip to st. george! It was such a nice trip and she had a blast going.

Then I left my job at USANA. Which was good because I was so tired of being there. I miss all of the people and at times I kind of miss being there but I HATED the work.

I got a new job at mediconnect, which was GOD AWFUL. Don't ever work there and don't let anyone you know work there!

I got to go to Moab with my friend Rachel and it was fun! I haven't been there since I was a kid and I MISS that place terribly. I love it there and I need to go at least once a year.

Me and Rachel had a way fun night in wendover. I ran into somebody from the year before. Someone I loathed and We made amends, which is part of the healing process, forgive people.

I spent the fourth of July up in park city with Ev and aunts. It was WAY fun. I wish it could be a tradition. lol

A couple months later I left my job at mediconnect and NEVER looked back. I'm still relieved that I left that place. It caused me so much anxiety and stress and unhappiness and it caused my depression to kind of come back.

Once I left there I felt FREE and it only took me a couple weeks to find a new job.

Meanwhile I went to Las vegas with Rachel for her bachelorette. Which was FUN. I don't think I have drank that much in my life and I probably won't ever again! But it was a good time and best of all I met VANILLA ICE.

I also found out that my aunt was adopting a little girl named Hadley! Best news EVER!

My little Liam boy turned one

Then two weeks later,

Ev turned one!!

Probably the most bittersweet thing on earth.

I really love that little lady

Then my best friend got married!

and found out she has another little person coming her way :)

I also got into my first relationship since my last one. Which in my book, was a big deal! It took me a long time to be able to trust someone enough. Sadly, it didn't last as long as I would have liked but it definetly helped me get over the past. It just wasn't meant to be and I'm okay with that.

Then ya know, halloween, thanskgiving, and christmas all happened.

Honestly, I think I'm in a good place right now. It's no where near perfect. There's SO many things I want out of my life, That I want for not only myself but Ev too. I know that they'll take a lot hard workm stress and tears but I think what comes of it, is lifelong happiness.

I can say now that I have a content nature about me. I don't hate myself. I'm not so hurt, I'm not so bitter. I'm just content.

And I can live with that.

This year has been a very interesting year, and its gone by faster than I ever thought it could! I remember being a kid and a whole year felt like 10 years and now 1 year seems like a week. but when you think about it, so much has happened and so much has changed. I'm different than I was. But more the same. Going through everything the year before changed me. It changed me into someone I didn't reconize. but slowley I've come back to who I was with a bit more knowledge.

All in all this year was a BIG year. Especially with Ev. She went from being this tiny little girl to a walkin, talkin toddler. A lot of her firsts happened in this year with her and it still baffles me that she started the year out as a little baby and is ending this year as a little girl.

For new years resolutions well, I don't know if I want to make any?
All I want to do this year is continue down the path I'm going. I want to be the best mother I can be for Ev and be there with her all the times I can. I want to enjoy my life. I want to be a kinder, happier person. I want to get out of my box a little and make tons of new friends!
I think that's all!

Goodbye dear 2012, welcome 2013!