Random nonsense

I have moments where I'm sad but I'm soo used to being busy that I kind of distract myself and forget. 

Wouldn't it be nice if you could just not like people anymore? 

for instance, Ev and I spent the day with Rachel and Liam. We just hung out and watched scary shows. Well Rachel and I did and Ev and Liam made giant messes and played with monster trucks. I have NO idea why Ev loves cars so much. She had a blast pushing a monster truck around Rachel's house. I think I'll have to buy her some cars to play with lol.

I was sad because I had to work halloween night, which meant that I couldn't take Ev trick or treating. Except I got someone at my work to cover for me from 6-10!! so I can take Miss Ev trick or treating. I am SO grateful! She seriously has NO idea how much this means to me. 

Although I doubt I'll dress up on halloween night. 

I bought a costume though and I kind of regret it. Since I don't have plans anymore.

but hopefully something fun comes up that doesn't require me to drive all the way out to freaking Brigham city by myself. Especially in this weather.

but we'll see what happens. 

other than that I want to be busy busy busy. I want life to be about Ev, family, work. 

Oh and on the good news side, 

my grandpa does NOT have cancer! He has a rare genetic disorder which makes his blood have too much red and white blood cells. So all he needs to do is get his blood drawn every month.

THANK GOD

I was so scared. I love my grandpa, and I honestly couldn't handle losing him or watching him be sick. Monday they had been told that it was a form of blood cancer but just yesterday they found out it wasn't.

that makes my heart feel a lot happier!

and I also found out my best friend is having a GIRL!

With all this babyness coming around it makes me baby hungry. But God knows that is NOT going to happen.

I'll admit it makes me jealous to see all my friends getting married and having more babies but that life isn't for me apparently. So I will live vicariously through them. 

sucks to be my friend.

I also feel like disappearing for a while.

Ya know, get away? Think about whats REALLY important and whats best for the little and I?

I need to focus on what I need to do and look into school or doing something with my God damn life already.

but whatever it is I need to get my life back to what it needs to be. Get away from people and things that are unimportant. and just take care of myself and Ev.

just as it always should have been.