Not as bad

I'm doing a lot better than I thought I would.

I'm not as sad as I thought I'd be.

There's things I miss but its back to what it was before, although I don't feel as bad about myself as I did before.

I guess I'm over the past. I'm over you-know-who and I guess that's really all that matters.

I think I just realized that I never really liked him, I just thought I did because we were having a baby together.

Plus I see pictures of him now and things on the internet and I gag a little.

seriously, what the fuck what I thinking?

Although Ev is pretty stinkin cute. ha.

But with this new deal, I wanted things to work out, I really did.

but if it's meant to be it will be and that is that.

I've learned to accept that.

So moving on..

Halloween. I'm excited but then again I'm not. I was suppose to go to a wedding but I work until 7:15 and its clear up in Brigham city and I DO NOT want to drive out there that late and then have to leave late. Partly because I also work at 12 the following day so its not like I can really even stay up there. and I can't make it back home to take Ev to my mom for her to be watched.

I was suppose to hang out with someone else and go to their friends party but seeing as we are no longer together that option went right out the window.

luckily I have some great friends who still want to hang out with me. So I'll be looking like a Ho fa Sho in my costume, somewhere else. and that's fine by me, I'll be more comfortable surrounded by people I know. Especially if I look like a ho (I tried to pick a not so- hoey costume, It didn't work)

Hopefully I can find something fun to do with my friends.. haha

Other than that... Work has settled down a little bit. We've all adjusted to the opening upstairs and everyone has settled into the whole deal. One BIG major annoying thing though. The employee badge scanner stopped working. Which means NO one can get in and out of the lobby. Which means I have to let people in and out and constantly watch along with completeling my other receptionist duties. Which is doing EVERYTHING possible. But the worst part is the door has a "doorbell" on it that people can ring to get back out into the lobby. Mind you I have a camera that shows me when people are coming so half the time I already have the door opened. but everyone rings it and its driving me CRAAAAZY. Seriously a million times per day you hear diiiing doooong. I'm about to admit myself. It's honestly the worst sound I have heard as of late. Its going to haunt my dreams. I've asked about disconnecting it but we have to keep it on. UGH.

but anyways. I'm VERY excited for actual halloween and I'm SO excited to take my little chunk-a-lunks trick or treating!! Expecially in the neighborhood I grew up trick or treating in!

and that makes me even more excited for the holidays because although last year was fun this year will be even better because Ev actually is aware of things!

Life isn't so bad. Especially when you have a million little things that make it better. Or just ONE thing (Ev) :)