a quick little update

Jeez, my last blog wasn't very happy. But stress really is getting to me..I can't even explain the amount of stress I feel most of the time. Its like a constant battle for me to stay afloat. I'm ready for some stability.

But with this job unfourtnatly I had to call in sick on Friday. I woke up terribly sick. I was nauseas, my head was foggy and I was pretty much delerious. I managed to shower but I couldn't stand up and I started throwing up. I barely managed to get dressed. I ended up sleeping in a bra and some undies for hours until I could get my head un-foggy enough to get dressed and move. There was NO way I could go to work. I slept a ton that day and eventually felt better.
My poor mom though. She dealt with me puking, then Ev decided to up chuck all over the her. So thanks mom for dealing with us puke faces.

Saturday I ended up not really doing anything.. because well.. I didn't feel like it. I did go to my friend Alisha's birthday. I got lost and ended up at a place that I've been before. Yeah, I'm an idiot. Almost got followed to the bar by some guy. (I had to lie and say I had a boyfriend) Then we went to somebodys house.. where I was told I acted mature.. why, thanks?  Probably because I wasn't drunk or acting stupid. haha

Then Sunday was Rachel's bridal shower up in Brigham city. I was going off of 4 hours of sleep. It was fun but I had to watch Ev because there are SO many things that Ev could have broken inside the house and not many places she could go outside without getting run over by the older folks and kids. She was the only non-walker. Then after we went and surprised our good friend Taylor (she was in Vegas with us) because she got ENGAGED! whoo! We sprayed her with silly string which in turn scared Ev and Liam pretty bad.

Also congrats to Kendyl who finally had her little baby boy!! So happy for you and your family! :)

i feel like I'm typing this in speed talker style.. haha bear with me..

but that was the weekend in re-cap.

I want to say that I'm not jealous of all these amazing things happening in my friends lives but I am. Simply because I want those things for Ev and I too. I wish that I could be celebrating things in my life for me sometimes too. I guess in time I will? Its just hard to see all this life happening and feel like yours in stuck in a hole. I want SO badly to not feel jealous along with the excitment and happiness I feel for others.. but I'm jealous but not jealous enough to not be happy about it! I'm very happy for my friends. Ya know what I'm sayin?

All in good time.. maybe.

Anyway...

Ev's first birthday is fastly creeping on. Rachel's little boy Liam will be ONE on SATURDAY. I can't even believe it.. Then before I know, Ev will be the big O-N-E. Am I ready for this? no..
She's learning a lot. She can shake her head NO and she can now shake her head YES. Her favorite thing to say is "mama" and "dog" (I hope she doesn't mean anything by that..)She constantly jabbers.  If you ask her where grandma is, she'll look until she sees Grandma. If you ask her where the dogs are, she'll look for the dogs. If you ask where mama is, she looks at..you guessed it ME! She loves to play peek-a-boo preferably with my nicely folded laundry. She is into EVERYTHING. Seriously! She even peed on the floor the other day. She knows how to take her diaper off. Those incidents were separate and oddly did not correlate. She had an accident where she rolled off the bed and bonked her noggin on the lamp table. Luckily everything was okay..

Things are just...chaotic! To say the least.. I had my first official day working.. and it wasn't so bad. Kind of confusing and I feel lost as hell but I guess eventually I'll get the hang of it. Everyone I work with is way nice, very different but way nice. They're all kind of computer nerds haha but they are interesting and I like talking with them. I did get in trouble for being sick, but I really couldn't do ANYTHING about it.  My mom said she was ready to take me to the hospital at one point because I was acting so strange. and when my mom agrees that I need to miss work, I needed to miss work. but whatever..

I really hope things just level out for me. I'm ready for that next step in life where Ev and I can BE ON OUR OWN! Seriously. Where I can live in my OWN home. Have my OWN space and have some privacy. Ha.

one day.. like I always say.