will it ever be right?

Sometimes I don't think I'll ever find anyone. I'm too picky.. I'm too cautious and I have every right to be.
I don't want to be alone forever but hell, it'll be a miracle for me to find someone I can be with.

Being a single mom is kind of a tough thing. You have to find someone to not only love YOU but to love your baby as well..
and how can you find someone like that when the person who was suppose to, couldn't?

I've heard the saying "Don't marry anyone you would be ashamed to have as a son" well since I don't have a son, I won't date anyone I'd be ashamed for my daughter to date. I wouldn't want Ev to be with anyone like her DNA donor. He even said it himself. I asked him what he would do if someone treated his daughter the way he treated me and he said "I'd kill him." Once I was talking about chasing away boys from Ev when shes older and he said something like "Only guys like me, right?" uh, yeah.


sometimes that makes me feel grateful he ran away.

The guy I want, hell..I don't even know. A while back when I was still in counseling she told me to make a list contaning three catagories

deal breakers
absolutly must have and
bonuses

just to give myself an idea of what I'm looking for. I haven't made that list. I need too. I really don't want to be alone. It just seems so utterly complicated and honestly, I don't know how anyone finds their partners. I get it, when the time is right! but will there ever be the right time? Will I ever be ready? Will I find that one person who was meant for me?

I have some serious doubts.. I'm pretty sure I was meant to be single.