Life takes you places

I've really been slacking when it comes to the blog. Especially compared to how much I have posted other months. Life has just been busy I guess. I just don't have much to say, or complain about really.


I've been thinking about a lot of things lately.. like the fact that Ev will be ONE in a short two months. I'm in awe at how quickly time flys by.. where does it go? It seems like yesterday but so long ago.. I kind of want to cry at the thought of my beautiful lady being one. ONE! When, how?!  I don't even know what to think.. but I obviously have to think of first birthday ideas.. can you say pinterest? lol

I've also thought about how much life has changed from a year ago.. last year was the hardest year of my life. Its amazing how different I am as a person, and how much everything..well changed. Obviously having a baby flips your life upside down and shakes it around a few times but jeeez. I don't even remember who I used to be. I found this great quote, which is what happens when you become a mother, when I read it it was like "yes!" It explains my way of thinking these days.

I can't do anything really in my life without thinking of Ev. When it comes to going out, working, finding someone. I can't really make spontaneous decisions, I can't be wild, I can't do certain things because I always have to think of what Ev would think of me. Would she be ashamed? would I be ashamed if this was her? I think that keeps me grounded and in the right direction. It's so natural to think this way. I can't explain it, but I have no idea how my thought process was before. It's heavy to think for not only yourself but someone else but I can't think any way else.

just so many things have changed. Sometimes I look back and I don't know that person I was then and sometimes I don't even understand how I reacted or thought the way I did in certain situations.  I love the path I'm on but again I'm ready to rock the boat a little. I'm ready for some change. Yes I'd love to find the man of my dreams but obviously.. that won't be happening any time soon. My mom stated the other day that I have my whole life to settle down. I don't know why I feel so rushed, well Ev obviously. I want her to have that stability but then again I want to be myself. I already have to think for one other person.. I don't need someone else. Plus I should probably learn to cook before I hook up to the old ball and chain. right? As lonely as I am though.. I'm better lonely.

its crazy what can change in 10 months.. right before your eyes.  Look at these photos!

Can't believe that is the same baby! Amazing how they go from these helpless little creatures to these independent little people! To think that two weeks ago, Ev couldn't get herself around and now she can pretty much go anywhere she'd like. She even learned how to use the stairs today, Oy.

Life is truly an amazing thing.

I realize it everyday when I'm with Ev. How amazing it is to think that you, yourself were once a small baby and to think back to when you were a child and to how much time has passed since then.. that here you are now, how did you get here? Sometimes life is weird to think about. How these little babies who consume our lives now, were once not in them? How pointless our lives were before and now they serve so much purpose? lol its insane to think about.

I'm just content with where I am at this moment. I feel like I'm where I need to be and I'm happy to be here.

To think of where this journey begun, and where it has brought me.. that itself is amazing.