May flowers.

So today was a pretty good day.

first I had an interview with the car rental place. I was all sorts of shaken up because I did NOT feel prepared at all. Plus I didn't have anything to wear that was way nice. (note to self: buy black pants!) luckily I found something. I was almost late though.. but I barely made it on time. Then they said that I had canceled which I DID NOT. But they interviewed me anyways. It seemed to go smooth after that! She liked the words to describe myself which were "kind" and "helpful" because I feel that I am in a lot of ways. She said most people use "outgoing" as one. Which I can be outgoing but that's one of the last words I'd use to describe myself lol. Shy would be better. It seemed nice, not to nerve racking. I liked the description of the job, plus it's closer to home!

but.. I got a call back from the other job I interviewed for on Friday and I GOT IT! whooo! I feel so much better knowing I have an option! I just got a message and I'll be calling them back tomorrow. I'm not sure if I want it exactly because this jobs is quite the drive away. It's in freaking south Jordan and it can be a little more then an hour to get there. Which I would not care for. but I GOT IT! whoo hoo!!

although I really want the car rental place. P.S. If I get it, I train for 5 weeks and then they fly me out to san fransico, FREE. to do more training though. Bit I like the sound of that! Not to mention when I was waiting to be interviewed a lady there sales products from my old job. She is one of their associates. Sign? maybe. we'll see!

then another good thing. MY CAR IS FINALLY FINISHED! bout freakin time! I was going half-crazy without a car. it happened to be finished like 10 minutes before I had to leave for my interview, which sucked because I didn't have the time to go and get it before. But hey, its was finished! So I got it back and it looks perfect! thank goodness!


On the other hand. I can't believe its MAY. Happy may day by the way! It seemed like May would take FOREVER to get here. Now it's here, within a blink of an eye. I feel like it should still be March.. or maybe it should only be January. Where has time gone? seriously.. I can say it enough. In a week, yes, ONE week I will finally be 21. The birthday of all birthdays. The one I have been impatiently waiting for since the ripe age of 19 years old. Is it all that special? well yeah. But drinking just isn't that important to me anymore. So it's not as special as it would have been when I was 19. but yet, special. Shouldn't I be 30 by now though? Also last year at this time I had no idea I was having a baby girl. Well I had a clue.. but I would officially find out May 4th! Weird to think. Also I was a few days short of finding out the most heartbreaking news of my life. Which put me in a whirlwind of hurt and severe depression. My heart aches thinking of that time. but let's not dwell.. because more importantly.. tomorrow Miss Ev will be

8 months old.

can you believe that? Uh, no. well, yeah.. but it's crazy! How has my baby grown up so much? not to mention little miss bell's is turning 2 on the 4th. Why oh why do babies have to grow up so fast?! It makes zero sense. A lot of people are having their babies this month too, which is also exciting and a lot of people found out what their little fetus friends are! I love pregnancy and pregnant friends! Its so amazing to see the process and hear all the joy of it. Makes me jealous :)

but then again.. I'm pretty freaking traumatized from labor and I don't know if I could do it all again.. I'll need a long, long time to forget the hell of labor.. and morning sickness. and I'll need a husband to go with this whole pregnancy pipe dream. Because there is NO way I can go through what I went through with my last pregnancy (relationship wise) no, no, no. I refuse. I'll only go through one torturous thing and that will be labor, since I already know that WILL be torture irregardless of anything else.

 I also happened to find some pictures from when little miss was just a newborn..and my labor which has a certain someone in them so I can't exactly post them on facebook. Makes me sad, but I guess I'll post them here.

great-great grandma larsen and newborn Ev

Bell's, Grandma and Ev

She was sooo orange and chubby. Love her.

My belly was still big. I miss those boobs. Ev is soo tiny!

Rach and I discussing labor

A little before I started pushing.. just before the torture..

I was tired and ready

yeah.. 

well I'm excited for May to be here. I hope the saying "April showers bring May flowers" works in the way of my life. April had many downs. I stayed as positive as possible but here's hoping that things stay good for a little while.

First step: cleaning my room. It's a fucking pig stye disaster. Sorry for the language, but seriously. I'd take a picture to show but I'm freaking ashamed lol.