memories

Moving on is a hard thing to do. I've been struggling for a little over a year now. I think I'll struggle for a while but everyday it gets a little easier. There are set backs all of the time, but I keep on it. I will NOT be stuck in the past.
I'll remember it. I'll never forget it. I'll never forget how I felt. But I won't use that as a thing to be bitter. I'm going to use it as a reason to be better, to be conscious of how I make other people feel.

The past is merely a memory and although some aren't good, I want to focus on the ones that are. I find myself dwelling on the past thinking of what I could have done. There was nothing that I could have done and even if I rack my brain to find some solution, it's too late. No matter what, its over, that time has passed.

So instead of thinking of that, I'm going to think of what was good. Being pregnant, the excitement of meeting this person. that's reminiscing. But From now on I'm going to pay all my attention to NOW, what's happening right now. Because one day, these will be my memories and I want to look back and smile because they are just as sweet as they were when I was in them.

I wonder why I never thought of that before. It makes my mind and soul feel free. It seems so simple, yet it took so long to really understand.