One of those days..

You know those nights where you just sit and think about how much life just well, sucks? Yeah it's one of the nights for me. I think I have to much on my plate.

I have a baby that doesn't stop crying. She spits up all the time all over the place. I can't put her down. But either way she cries.
my room is a DISASTER. I have a pile of laundry I really, really need to do. I hate that my room is messy, I think its making me feel more overwhelmed.
I have another ordeal that's going on that I can't mention right now. But its ridiculous really.
I feel extremely ugly. It doesn't even matter how much weight I've lost, it doesn't get rid of the stretch marks and I have no time for the gym. I hate my hair, my teeth, my everything. That's why I try not to post pictures of myself on facebook. It makes me sad to take pictures of my face.
I need new clothes. Not shirts but new pants and bras. Losing weight is awesome but not when you have to replace things.
The fact that I have to wake up early everyday from Ev screaming and feed her and then somehow manage to pull myself together for work, then go to work all. day. long. and come home to have Ev who's of course crying. I have no time to eat, sleep or anything at all. I can't take care of my diabetes anymore.


I'm at a loss here. I do not know how to enjoy life right now when the only things I get to do is get screamed at and work. I'm tired and sick and there is never enough time in the day.
I remember when the days were stressful and I'd wish that it would be nighttime so I could just sleep. Now that I can't sleep.. well I'm stressed all the freakin time. there is no escaping it.

I love Ev more then anything and I really just want me and her to be happy but on days like today when everything looks like a disaster and Ev's crying just to cry. I don't see happiness coming my way..