so in case you didn't realize I probably will be discussing topics of breastfeeding.. and believe me, I'll be kind of detailed.
So anyways.. I've always planned to breastfeed. I think its the most beneficial and I mean you lose weight from it and by God I need all the help I can get. When I was in the hospital I got a breastpump to practice with to get started. It took about a day to get the colostrum in and then about two days after that I got my milk in. Let me tell you, I never EVER thought that in my life I would be so excited to for my boobs to leak milk but when I woke up and saw that my boobs were HUGE and engorged, well It felt like Christmas morning. Yeah I was THAT excited about it. FINALLY miss Ev had something good to drink while drinking. (I had to do the S&S method where they put a little tubey in the side of her mouth and put formula while she sucks.) and now I could just breast feed! yay!
So that morning my mom ran out to get me a good ol breastpump. She had to do it due to the fact that I was still being held captive as a patient.
Unfourtnatly Ev had to stay an extra day at the hospital due to jaundice. which believe me I bawled like a baby all freakin day. But all the while I built up a supply of boobie milk for my little lady. Its honestly crazy how much milk you can get out. its rather creepy to see milk come out of your boob. but pretty cool I guess.
I was so HAPPY when Ev came home today but I come to find out that she kind of forgot how to breastfeed. Now this took a couple days for her to get and it pissed me right off that she wasn't breastfeeding. (Not mad at Ev, mad that she was held captive at the hospital without me) It was such a FIGHT today to get her to eat. She will NOT eat anything unless it is the perfect tempature and she will NOT drink from my boob. So for a couple hours she screamed.. screamed because she was hungry and because we weren't feeding her the way she wanted to be fed. I have a very stubborn little lady here. well finally I gave up and pumped. My mom fed her what I just pumped with a bottle and she drank it. then she decided she would like a little more from my other boob and FINALLY took it. thank GOD. Now shes been completely tuckered out from the fight she put up and doesn't even care if we move her or change her diaper and or clothes. poor kid.
I honestly hope tommorrow goes a little better. I mean its day one of this long, long adventure and we have A LOT to learn. healing from a c-section definetly makes things harder. I can't move as quickly and I can't do as much. Plus I have to take medicine that makes me tired. luckily my mom is here to support me but I feel bad because I can't do a whole lot for myself and It makes me feel like a bad mom to not be able to take care of my daughter 100% on my own.
Plus I think I have a case of those "baby blues" I found myself crying quite a bit today. Of course I have several reasons why.. but it really sucks. I know that my mood affects Ev and it definetly makes breast feeding harder when I'm stressed out about people that just don't matter.
all of this is a learning experience. and its going to take a while before I get a hold of it. Becoming a mom is definetly life changing. I'm in shock already.
On the bright side. These BOOBS I have. Can I keep these when I'm done breastfeeding?! They make my still swollen tummy look smaller. Damn I wish my belly would go down soon. I would look good with these suckers, not gonna lie! lol
Oh and miss Ev got to meet her boyfriend Liam today. Yes, they will be married :)
and heres a picture of my lovely lady
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