dreams

So I was reading Harry potter yesterday. The first book. Nerdy I know but since seeing the movie, I kind of want to refresh my memory. but anyways I was reading the part about the mirror. The one that shows you and what you want most out of life. Harry saw his family because what he wanted the most out of life was to be surrounded by his family. He goes back every night for 3 nights because he loves to see this reflection. On the last he goes, Dumbledore is there. He explains to Harry that standing there in the mirror and looking at what you want most in life can drive you mad. Because you see it there but you can't have it. There's no point standing there looking at your dreams if you can't get them. He said a quote that I liked..

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live"

How does this apply to me? Well I dwell on the dream of having a family. I can see how nice it would be in my head to have me and Evee and you know who.. possibly with another later on. Oh how comforting it is to sit and think about that. To have a little family to love and care for. To be married with a beautiful baby girl. To live in a little house that's decorated cute and to be in love. How nice would that be?
but its no use to sit and think about what could have been. The man in my dreams isn't the boy I was with. There is no use to dwell on that dream and surround myself in its comfort. It will never happen. I will never be in love like that.. well at least not with him. That cute house? well I can still have that.. but I'll have to get it on my own. That beautiful daughter? well shes mine and shes coming. and that's the best part of all that dream.
Sometimes I forget to live because I dwell so much on the loss of this dream. The dream of being in love with a small family. I lay and think and think and think and it does no good. What's the point? I won't ever marry him, I won't ever be with him again. Who knows if I'll ever see him or talk to him again? And do I even want to? This person I dream of isn't the person he is. I can't make him be that way. Its hard to face that fact but I can't be sad about it anymore. I have wonderful people who are here, who are there for me and they are real.

Maybe one day I'll be in love and married with my daughter. Hopefully I can find someone who can not only treat me right but my daughter. Who can not only love me but my daughter as well. Maybe one day. If not, then its a dream I can't dwell on. I have a life to live and maybe some dreams will come true that I didn't know I had.