but I've moved on.

I don't know..
I don't know if I care anymore. I mean I care, but not enough to try. I've been good, lonely, but good and I'm okay with that. I'm done being hurt, I'm so done. I don't want to welcome hurt back into my life. I don't need it. I don't need the stress, I don't need the pain. I need to be happy, I need things to be smooth and unstressful. I need things to keep going how they are, smoothly. I can be lonely, but I can't be hurt. I need to keep things up the way they are so Ev can stay in my belly as long as she needs to be. I'm so scared that the stress is going to come back and things will go badly. I'm done fighting, that's why I stopped. I'm done trying to make someone follow through with their promises, because I can't control other peoples actions. I've accepted my lost, I've washed those dreams down the drain
I've moved on.
Can't I be left alone now? Can't I just keep moving forward and away? I've been okay, is this going to end now?
Please don't let things get like they were. I thought I had gotten away.


This is defiantly a curve ball. This changes things. I really hope its not a 20 steps forward 100 back type thing. UGH. I was doing so well! I know I get a little weepy sometimes and cry over things but as soon as I'm done crying I'm good. I'M GOOD. now can things just be how they were?

For instance this weekend was good. I'm finally back upstairs, I have my room all set up how I want it. It just needs to be painted. Evees room is all put together, just need to hang things up and have a baby shower and get all that done. My closet is color coordinated. Evees closet is coordinated by size. Her Bow drawer is color coordinated. Everything is clean and organized.
I even bought 3 carter's outfits for 4 dollars! They are having a big "3.99" sale and there was a cheetah jumper I wanted to buy for her for next summer. Well I got that.. and two other waaay cute outfits. I also had a 10$ off thing (from spending like 100$ there) it had expired July 2nd but the saleswoman honored it anyways! So it came out to be 4 dollars! I'm extremely happy about that lol


So point of that matter is, Things have been good.. can they please remain that way?

Also Dumb Taylor moment of last week..

I was on the phone and I was talking to a person about keeping their business centers qualified. I told them that the 100 volume point Autoshipment helps keep their business center "qualificated". What the hell is wrong with me? Who am I? George Bush? Jesus, I need to go back to school, I think I'm turning into a hillbilly.. lol