Day Fourteen

Day 14. My earliest memory

It's not much of a memory but I remember laying in my crib. I know it was nighttime because the room was dark except for a small lamp and I was just looking up at my mom. I also remember riding in the car with my great grandparents. I hated the car seat so I was crying and my great grandma was pointing out a Gorilla logo for one of the businesses we were passing so I'd stop crying. I even remember the exit we were on, its the exit by fashion place mall to get onto I 2-15. Yeah, creepy huh? lol

So I'm starting to feel closure. Or something like it. I know why now, it may not even be really why, but I feel that it is. I can let go. It will never ever excuse what was done to me and how I was treated but it helps me move past it. Because I know I will never get an apology for what has happened. I can't say that I'll forgive either, but I can move on. I won't be stuck be in this mess anymore and I can finally focus on what really matters. Plus its been two months since I've seen him, its been almost 3 weeks since we've talked. I don't know him anymore, I don't know who he is and I don't care. He's slowly becoming a distant memory. I don't associate him with Ev and me anymore. He was just a bad dream. There's always the possibility of something awful happening again, and I'm expecting something to happen any second. but at least I have some closure. Even the nightmares aren't so bad anymore.