sometimes

I know this is going to sound crazy after everything I've been through and said. But sometimes I still miss him. Sometimes I just want to call him or text him and tell him that. Because I really do miss him. I won't of course, that's just stupid. I can't tell someone I miss them when I know they don't miss me. I can't tell someone I care, when I know they don't. I've been okay without him, and I assume it will get easier after a while. I haven't heard from him for almost two weeks. I doubt i will hear from him in another two weeks. I really wish I could text him whenever like I used to and I wish he would text me like he used to. It won't ever be that way again but sometimes I wish it could go back. I'm not stupid, I'm not waiting around.

I hate that I have to avoid a lot of things. I just don't want to know how awesome his life is without me or how awesome things are with her. I don't want to know. I want to be happy with my life and the things in my life. Hopefully I won't ever have to know.