Sometimes I think I'm searching for the impossible, well impossible for me anyways. I'm not looking for the whole lovey dovey experience but I'm looking for someone to be with. I don't need to be treated like someones valentine 24/7 , I want to be someones best friend and their part time lover I suppose. I want to be appreciated and respected and loved and I would want to do the same to them. Its impossible for me to find because well.. I'm me. I think I'm meant to be alone because I have always been on my own. but if I don't ever find anyone that's okay too, because that means I'm free of someone else. But I don't think being alone is ideal and I don't want somebody to have somebody I want someone to be with, to grow with and to learn with. Love is just... overrated sometimes. I think I'm just obsessing over something I can't have. maybe its because of this:
I love this song and I wish I could find a boy like that. Ha I'm lame I know.
but anyways. I had the worst dream of my life last night, it was absolutely awful. let me explain. Well it started out that me and two of my friends were going to my friends hometown to hang out. We got to some peoples house (I didn't know whose) to hang out and we had to kind of sneak in. But then the people discovered us and come to find out its a girl that I HATE. now I don't use that term loosely but in this case is true. She is the cause of so much pain that I have suffered and she is just pure evil in my eyes. But in the dream she was nice to me but the kicker was is she was living and dating the guy that I used to like (this guy is the reason I was in pain and her involvement with him, long story though)I was so upset and In pain to hear that they were happy and lived together and I had to be there to see it and i couldn't do a thing about it and I was stuck there. It was horrible to me, living out what I had sort of experienced but to a different extreme. UGH. Nightmares.
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