Day #10

Day# what I'm wearing today..

well this feels like a creepy question a creepy guy might ask.. but I'll answer it anyways. Today I am wearing a long sleeve shirt, I guess you could call it a waffle cone shirt. It has red and purple flowers on it and it is the nice color of tan. Earlier I was wearing my favorite jeans that I bought for 12 dollars, but I had to change for work so now I'm wearing my grayish blue pants. not to exciting of an outfit, but yeah.

Well I find myself lately not wanting to do anything. I spent my Saturday night watching a jersey shore marathon.. by myself. As sad as that sounds, I greatly enjoyed myself, so don't have a pity party for me! I just feel like spending personal time with myself. I'm sick of being around people and I'm sick of doing things. I want to lay and think or mindlessly tune out. I don't know why I feel like being alone, I just do. Maybe I need to get back in touch with myself? who knows, but that's how I feel. I don't feel like dating either. I feel rather repulsed by it. well maybe not repulsed but I'm sick of thinking about it and dealing with the issue of it. Like I said I want to be alone. Hopefully I will be in the people mood for Halloween though... Which I am looking forward to just as long as I can be a CUPCAKE. yes I found a cupcake costume, the only downfall is that its pretty much sold out EVERYWHERE. Just my luck huh? well luckily I have a plan B and a plan C. but I'm determined to be a cupcake. Really determined.

Well my diabetes doctor appointment is this Friday and fuck I'm scared. I'll probably be killed before I'll ever get to be a little cupcake. I'm not going to lie and say that my poor care is anybody's fault, its mine but I just wasn't cut out for this lifestyle.. obviously. Like I chose it anyways..well I'm treated like I did. I'm just hoping to make it out okay, I mean I'm ready to do better doc, just let me be in one piece. If only cupcakes would solve this problem.. which is ironic because cupcakes might make this problem worse. Oh boy..