A year already?

As of yesterday, its been a whole year since I graduated high school! A whole year! Its weird to see all the younger classman graduating. To be honest I felt jealous of everyone graduating this year. Why? Because graduating is exciting, the whole world is open to you at that point and everything is changing. You don't know what to expect or what is next but its exciting to wonder and anticipate it all. I'm jealous that I don't get to experience it again. My time has already past, and to be honest, its life. No matter how much changes in a short amount of time, you get used to it and you live it like you did before. I cant say that I miss high school, but I do miss being a kid. Having to work and then give all your money away to school and insurance is a drag. I wish I didn't have to pay for anything, that would certainly make things easier. I wish I could celebrate being out of high school a year but its hard when I'm in a weird place in life. I'm at the point where it feels like I make no money, and I have no time to make more money. I'm stressed at what to do, I want to be able to live life and have fun but I cant afford it and I have to focus on paying for what I need to do rather then what I want to do. Its so weird to think that I'm already grown up, all this time waiting and wishing that I was an adult and I am one. Its crazy to watch the people you have grown up with getting married and having kids. It makes me feel like I should be married and having kids? nah

I would like to take a moment and talk about the new addition to my family. Isabella Marie. No she's not mine, she happens to belong to my Cousin. But that doesn't mean that I don't absolutely love her! Shes a doll, and even though her coming caused a lot of stress on everyone, we all love her deeply. It's crazy to think how much you can love a little baby, even one that is not yours. She came down to st. George with us for memorial weekend and I would not let anyone else see her! I just wanted to hold her the whole entire time. I love, love, love the new addition the the family! I love my little Issy Bee. (this is the nickname I came up with, her mom doesn't like it but oh well). Being around her makes me excited to have kids (not for a long, long time) but excited nonetheless. My grandpa even told me I was "motherly" and my aunt told me I was really good with her. I blame it on working at a daycare:)

Even though I'm all grown up, not that grown up, but grown up, I'm still pretty excited for whats to come. When your out of high school, its true, your whole world opens up. You meet bunches of new people all over the place, you learn a million new things, and you have the freedom to try new things. Life can be crummy and I know this because I have experienced it recently, but its fun and worth every minute. You have to work for everything, but the harder you work, the more payout you get. I'm going to continue to work and go to school five days a week so I can have a good future. Although it feels like I make no money, because I never have any. Ill be as stressed out as ever, but I can only hope it will be worth it.