Down

Breaking up with someone really sucks.

Especially when things are going so good, and then life happens.

Your mom gets cancer

You have an appendicitis

and you have an almost two-year old who you have to keep up with despite all the emotional/physical ailments 

Did I mention that I'm a single parent too? 

and well you just have a hard time in general because ya know, life just isn't really going your way.

I seem to attract people who do not want to be "serious" 

I think guys think that I want to marry them up and we have to be this serious couple. I don't want some flimsy meaningless relationship, no. Although I'm not in rush to get married. I don't mind taken it easy. Dating for a while, making sure we know each other well. I don't mind taking all the time in the world because frankly I'm not sure I want to be wifed up at all.. or have anymore babies. Maybe I just want someone to hang out with and ya know.. date? 

And I may be more needy then normal. I've been through a roller coaster the past couple months. Hell, the past few years. God damn. Excuse me if I need you to be my friend a little on the side.

I want a good relationship. I want to take it slow but I want it to be somewhat serious. Not the, we have to get married kind of serious. But the real kind of get to know each other serious. Be apart of each others life serious. 

but no.

I always find the ones who "can't take the seriousness"

in all honesty.. I didn't even think we were boyfriend and girlfriend.. 

but whatever..

I have more important things to worry about

My mom, my health apparently, and of course EV..the cute little girl who WON'T go to bed..

yeah..

Life's been a little tough for me.. I feel like I need to pick up a drinking problem after everything but alas, I don't have the stomach for it.

I've been feeling down, I've been feeling depressed and lonely and just down right freaking bad.

I know it's a phase, right?