So far, So Good.

It seems like once Ev is in bed and I have sometime to myself, I have no idea what to do.. I feel like I need to constantly run around like I have been with Ev or at work.. so sitting here with nothing to do, is well..boring. Plus nothing is going on with facebook, I've been updated on everyone's blogs..which ya'll need to be updating more in my opinion.. haha and well I'm over pinterest for the moment. It makes me feel too overwhelmed. So instead I registered to vote.. I went all Switzerland and dubbed myself "unaffiliated" you never know who you're going to want to vote for. I also becamed an ordained minister. Because who doesn't want as many accomplishments as possible? You need to be married? I'm your girl!

Today was suppose to be my day off.. and I was going to devote this lovely day to cleaning, and napping. Ya know, the usual. Well napping really means doing whatever Ev wants to do but I can dream right? Sometimes Ev wants to nap and I take that opportunity to nap as well. But I got a text from my friend Rachel asking if I could cover her for work. Poor little Liam wasn't feeling well and hell, I need the money! This made it my first shift where I was completely by myself at the front desk. Luckily I did just fine and nothing chaotic happened. but it will eventually, just have to be prepared. but other than that I LOVE my job. So far.

I also got two somewhat odd, well ones really odd but nice compliments. When I first walked in (I used some of my bath and body works lotion) and it smells pretty amazing and a lady told me I smelt amazing and she wanted to lick me like her dog. (apparently her dog likes to lick lotion) lol Then later I was told by another lady that I had such a beautiful, angelic voice. Very nice, but strange. haha thanks? Mind you these are people I WORK with, not patients. It's always nice to get compliments, even strange ones.

Other than that, Ev has been an absolute DELIGHT, the past couple of days. Seriously. Coming home and playing with her is such a nice thing to do, such a de-stressor. It's funny though because after a long day of work you think that playing with your baby is such a hassle sometimes and it gets in the way of your relaxation but like I said, it is relaxing. You let go of being a big bad grown up and you play toys, sing stupid songs, do silly things and before you realize it, you not stressed and you're having fun! I can't even express my love for Ev and how happy she makes me feel sometimes!
With Ev, I still do think about her "other half" I mean, I realize I shouldn't think about it, and I hardly ever do. I just think about how much he misses out on. I honestly have NO feelings left for him at this point. No love, and I don't even hate him really. I just wonder what it would be like with him around her. I know I'll never find out, I know I'll never talk to him again and I'm okay with that. But its weird to wonder. Its even weirder to associate her with another family. She is such a Lambson to me and she hold no other traits. Sometimes I wonder if he ever thinks about her.

Its funny how you can feel so strongly towards someone and want revenge and whatever else to practically nothing. I'll admit I feel bothered when I see people whom I talk to occasionally befriend him on facebook, or whatever else. I don't know why it annoys me, but hey I like to think there are people out there who are team Taylor.. better yet TEAM EVELYN. because honestly, shes the one who got the most taken away from her, right? but at this point, I don't know.. I don't feel a connection to him, I don't know why I ever liked him or why I was ever with him or wanted anything to do with him. I don't know why I even wasted an ounce of feeling towards this person. It seems like a bad, bad dream that I had. That this person was a villain in a book and I just read about it, I didn't live it, I didn't first-hand experience it. But I did.
the good thing about feeling like I read the story, not lived the story is that it means that its just the past. Its a saved up memory that has influenced the way I live.

Dealing with someone like him just led me to not be so naive. What not to look for in someone. Having Ev has given me reason for what I should look for. I feel like it all has guided me to the right person and the fact that I can appreciate all the good things he has to offer. Some of the good traits someone else might take for granted. So far I feel like I've weeded away the bad ones and I have somehow managed to meet someone who is worthwhile, someone I feel truly comfortable with. Who I can bring Ev around, ect. I'm so grateful that I met this person because its brought a lot of good things in my life :) Better I'm grateful I was introduced to this person (thanks Kendyl!) All I can say for now is, so far so good!