I feel

I feel like myself. Well, my old self. My carefree not stuck-in-a-black-hole-of-doom self. I don't know what it is but I found myself being well, goofy, silly who I was back in the day when things were simple and I didn't care what people thought, when I wasn't angry or jaded. I haven't felt angry, or spiteful or mad. I don't even feel bitter. Not saying i won't eve feel it sometimes. I know I will but the past doesn't consume my thoughts. I don't think of it that much anymore and when I do it feels so unfamiliar and strange. Like a sad book I once read.

I feel like I can just be myself. Like I can say and do stupid silly things like I used. I can weird and loud and most of all happy.

It's a good feeling I tell ya! Sadly, it won't always feel like this... because that's life but for now it feels good, real good and I just want to squish Ev because I love her so much and I want her to soak up the happiness too. Although she's the cause of most of it.

but most of all, I just feel normal. How refreshing is that? I feel like I'm ME again. ME.. no longer consumed with bitter unhappiness. Just plain ol me. I want to NEVER be such an angry, bitter, resentful person EVER again.

I just feel good and happy and although things aren't where I want them yet, they are gettin there. As long as I work hard and keep busy, life will keep chuggin along. I'm just grateful for times like these when I feel good. I have an amazing little lady who makes me so happy everyday with how smart she is and how much she is learning and growing. She honestly makes me laugh a million times a day because she is the eptiome of goofy. And I hate talking about people I'm dating especially if its not "official" and we're just starting out cause I feel like it will be cursed or its not good to talk about.. but I have found a great person who I can feel comfortable around and just like talking to and being with. who woulda thought? crazy how it works, huh?

but I do have to mention the fact that my fake nails are driving me INSANE. I feel like I have cat claws and it makes texting extra hard.. espceially while driving..haha but alas... I spend good money on these claws so I'll have to put up with them for a bit to get my moneys worth.