The past couple of days

A little update on the past couple of days..

well Wednesday was my counseling appointment.. I've been going every week on Wednesday for the past 4 weeks. It doesn't seem like a lot to be feeling better but I definitely have been. Even with the chaos of last weekend. I'm now going to go every TWO weeks :)

She says I seem better in demeanor and it the way I look. I look more confident and happier and in truth I feel that way too. She said my reaction to seeing him last weekend was good! It was good I avoided talking to him, why? Because 1 of two things could happen: A. I could lose it on him and punch him in the face (which is NOT good and I do not act that way and I never want to) or B. He could rope me back in. Not doing either.
me and him could never be friends, we've tried it twice now and it doesn't work. If we're getting along, we are getting along much more friendlier then friends should be, and if we're not getting along, well its like how it is now. He avoids talking to me and I do the same. In all honesty I would love to talk to him, to tell him how I feel, to tell him how I felt and to hear his side. But I don't want to be friends, I never want to date him ever again and I don't want him involved in mine or Ev's life. Harsh? well I've been through a lot and its better that he's out, I'm happier which makes Ev happier. So there's no point. I just want all the hate and anger to be out and I want him to stop lying. I know I'll never hear what I want to hear from him, there will be no "sorry" there will be no "I was wrong" because in his eyes, he did no wrong. Oh well, though.

but even after all of that, I was shaken up, but I feel better. A lot better.

Then Thursday I woke up puking, Ugh. I have the most sensitive stomach ever! I can eat a piece of chicken that's slightly undercooked and I'll puke my guts out all day the next day. I've always had a sensitive stomach but ever since I've been pregnant its in overdrive! I hate it. I wake up and can't move my belly hurts so bad, so I lay curled up in a little ball until I throw up enough times to feel better. Suck.

But at least Ev's been a happy girl when things like that happen! She's been pretty fun the past couple of days. Shes getting to wear you can rough play with her a little bit. Like tickle her, turn her upside down, bounce her around ect. She loves it! She laughs and kicks and smiles! I took videos of her on Wednesday where she was just kicking and playing. I love how much she moves now, shes so roly poly too! She loves dancing!! She thinks it's pretty hilarious if I dance too.
Ev is also a weirdo. I laid her on the couch next to me and she kept licking it.. She wanted fruit but that doesn't explain her licking the couch. lol weirdo! shes discovered drinking out of cups too. If I'm drinking something she trys to pull it out of my hands and into her mouth.. well she does that with everything but she gets the concept of cups! Shes so funny and she makes me laugh with all the weird/funny things she does. I could go on and on. I love that girl.

but I have to mention my Evee wake-up calls. haha I really don't need an alarm to wake up for work anymore. Ev doesn't cry when she wakes up, she knows I'll be getting her. So she waits patiently. The way I wake up is to the sound of thumb sucking and then "ahhh da..ahhhh da" followed by her blowing a raspberry.  It's her own way of saying "wake up mom!" Then when I get her its like Jesus just showed up. That girl gets the biggest smile and does a big old jig like she's saying "Oh, boy, oh boy! Mom's awake!" So cute. I was never a morning person until now lol

Ahh how that little girl fills my heart up so much!!