fluff

Its kind of weird how my clothes seem to fit a little better now that I've had a baby. Well some of them are even looser then before. I've lost nearly 30 pounds since I've had Ev. I don't think I have ever lost that much weight in my life! Of course all the weight seems to be coming off everywhere but my belly. This is the smallest I've weighed in years. I haven't been this small since forever.
Although I've still lost a lot of weight, I do not feel necessarily great looking. I have stretch marks and my belly is.. well.. gross. If that part went away then I would be feeling pretty good. 2 more weeks tell I can work out. I also just don't feel pretty in the face or anywhere else. I just feel blah.

I credit losing weight to my personal neglect. I have NO time to think of myself. That's why when its all said and done at the end of the day, I cry because I've forgotten about anything to do with me and it all hits me at night when I'm alone. I forget to eat, I forget to take care of blood sugars, I forget a lot of things I need to do.

and neglecting my bloosuagrs is one of the great factors as to why my milk supply hasn't been up to par. So today I went and bought a vitamin supplement called "fenugreek" it was suggested in "what to expect the first year" and I very much trust that book. I LOVED "what to expect when you're expecting". So hopefully that will help with my milk and I've decided to devote some more effort into taking care of my blood sugars. This isn't a selfish purpose either since I'm doing all this to make milk for ev. Its a lot of work though. I pray my milk will come back.

although this is irrelevant I've been reading all the harry potter books from the start. I'm almost finished with the last one. But now I want to re watch all the movies. Its occured to me that I've only seen the last five movies once each. Partly because they take FOREVER to watch. But now I'm interested in watching them again. I wish they would come on TV or I could find them some place WAY cheap.