sick

Well I broke and I texted him. This time to tell him that his choice has been made since I haven't heard him from him in 3 weeks.

him and his lady friend (who knows me by the way) can have a good time together and maybe they will have a baby together cause obviously he doesn't know how condoms work.

I'm so sick and ashamed that I ever had anything to do with him.

I regret him more then I've ever regretted anything in my life. I regret what I did with him and I'm so sick and mad at myself for being so dumb.

I knew it was a bad choice, I knew it at the time and I knew it after and I still know it to this day. I didn't realize that he would do this. I didn't think he would have the heart to go out and be with someone else while I was pregnant after I begged him not to . I didn't think he could just abandon me like that and then tell me how he doesnt want to talk to me and hes going to take my daughter away.

I am sick to my stomach right now that I let someone like him take advantage of me. Especially when I knew better. I've always known better and I've managed to avoid things like this. I'm so ashamed and full of regret for that one stupid decision that its going to haunt me forever.

I can't even begin the guilt and resentment I feel. I'm embarrassed completely ashamed.

I made a mistake and I have defiently paid for it. I'll pay for it forever.

the only joy in this situation is Evee. I will thank God everyday for her. Through this hell storm she has been the only thing keeping me alive. If she wasn't here I don't think I would be either.