medicine

My poor child has to hate me right now. If I'm not stressed or upset, I'm sick, or sometimes even both. For instance I've had a severe sinus headache since sunday. Ev had burrowed deep into my lower uterus. Sorry babygirl, I'm trying to feel better! I'm really upset about having to take so much medicine to help my head feel better but I literally cannot move without taking something. I usually never take medicine for anything, except cramps (I DO NOT miss those!) So I feel just awful having to take tylenol for my headache right now. Poor Ev, I feel like I'm druggin her up. Hopefully this headache will clear up today and I can stop taking tylenol. It feels 10 times better today but its still here. Ugh.

I still came into work though.. good thing because I'm literally only working TWO days this week. I guess I got Friday off for the holiday weekend and I don't work Wednesdays. So I work today, Tuesday and Thursday! Plus I have next Monday off for memorial weekend! woot! So guess what? I'm taking an impromptu vacay to St. george, why not? I haven't been since febuary! funny thing, I went to st. george right after I told my mom I was having a baby, she was quite upset about it then and the one person I went to when she was being kinda rude about it was him. Funny how things switch, huh? well, oh well. Can't change it now.

Ugh I just can't explain how guilty I feel for having to take medicine. I also feel guilty for losing two pounds. How the hell am I LOSING weight? I've never had a weight loss problem before. I seriously thought I would have to worry about gaining to much weight during this pregnancy and its the opposite. I swear to God I'm constantly eating. I've lost 10 pounds being pregnant, and I've only gained 7 back. Ugh its frustrating! I actually want to gain weight right now and I'm having a hard time! I've never had a hard time with that before. I feel like I'm about to have a melt down! I'm so worried all the time about Ev, I just want her to be okay and I feel like I'm not doing anything right. I'm grateful my mom is here to support me, its just hard. I wanted to cry when I had to go to my doctors by myself yesterday, usually my mom will go with me but since I was just going to talk with the doctor about bloodsugars and all that fun stuff she decided to sit out. which is fine, shes been to every one so far. Emotionally, pregnancy has been hard. I'm hoping things will be better soon.