Day #19

Day #19 something I regret

Well I what I truly regret is something that I don't really want to share with the world at this moment. I'm still paying the price for this mistake and I think somehow it will always affect me but I own up to what I did and I'm lucky the consequences of my actions weren't worse. But it is what it is and I've learned from it and Its helped me grow up.. a lot.


Something that I do regret is not taking care of my diabetes like I should. I mean I should have done it the right way from the start. When I was little my mom took really good care of it and helped me out a lot but then I started getting more independent and I just started not taking care of it. Now Its hard to get back to the good place I was once with that, So I regret just not maintaining my good care and hopefully I can get better. :)


well anyways today has been an adventure. I had to get my blood drawn..yay! Well not really, It doesn't scare me but its not exactly fun. I also had to pee in a cup. Which I HATE. I would cry when this had to be done as a kid, now its just ugh. I mean peeing outside is fun but peeing in a cup sucks. I mean if I were a boy I would probably love to pee in bottles and cups but yeah I'm not a boy. When I tried to pee in the cup I realized I didn't have to pee so that was a whole other incident besides the blood draw part. then after that I went to get my blood drawn, I didn't realize that they would need four vials, but they did. It didn't hurt and I was fine but then my head started to feel all weird and I knew that I was going to pass out. So I alerted my mom and the nurse but they were like "almost done, you'll be okay" But no, I had no choice. At least she finished the blood draw before I had to pass out. I layed my head down and they had to get me juice (Due to my betes and the fact that I had not eaten since 10:00 last night) they made me chug juice. and then I puked. I told them "I'm going to throw up" so they got me a garbage and yes, I puked. Luckily it was only the juice I drank. After that I was made to sit and drink more juice. I finally felt well enough to leave and so we did. Half way home I felt faint again and had to lay down in the car until we got home were I was forced to drink more liquids and lay down. When I felt better we went to olive garden :). It was a nice day other then the whole hospital incident.
Well yesterday I had a friend I knew take pictures of me. Shes a way good photographer and they turned out way cool! Well today I got a message from a lady who asked if she could meet with me because she believes I would make a good candidate for the golds gym model thing. I thought to myself "well when you see me, I would be such a good choice because I look like I haven't been to the gym in years (which is true)." But I guess its for before and after pictures. HA. I'll do it though, I don't mind haha well we will see how that goes, I'm not going to pay to be a model, because uhh that's not cool. Hopefully this isn't a cruel joke haha

well I would like to also take a moment to discuss something I saw on TV yesterday. I was watching Dr. Phil (yeah, I know) but the topic was domestic abuse. I'm not a victim of domestic violence but I know people who are. Well anyways the lady on the show was a victim and she had her left eye taken out by the man that she loved. This women has tried everything to escape from him. Moving, changing her number, contacting the police but no matter what this man always finds her and continues to threaten her and threaten her family, he would say things like "I took your left eye, and I'm going to take your right one too". The police will arrest him , but he never stays in jail. He is let out and is able to find her over and over again. This to me is frightening and scary. How can the law let someone this violent go? A repeat offender, who is obviously crazy and a risk. How can they let this woman live in fear? She said that she thinks she should just let him find her so He can kill her and this nightmare will be over. This is just so disturbing that this poor women lives in fear like she does. And the fact that she thinks she has to give up her life for this to end. This should have ended long ago, this shouldn't still happen. Violence like this shouldn't be tolerated. No wonder women are killed all of the time, no one will help us when we need it. Its truly sad and I'm scared for not only the women around me but myself and my future children. Violence should be stopped the first time, it shouldn't take murder to get justice.