Up late

Here I am, Up late again. I wish I could sleep. I mean I sleep quite a bit but it never feels like its enough and its starting to wear on me. It really doesn't matter what time I fall asleep the night before, I'm still tired when I wake up in the morning. I'm not equipped to wake up before 9 am without a struggle. Since my class is at eight, I'm lucky enough to have to wake up at 5:30. Oh God, Kill me. But at least I get a break in between work and school to sleep a little. Even though those naps usually make me feel awful because my body just wants me to sleep more and it makes me Ill to wake up.. again. I wish that I could just work full time but unfournatly that oppurtunity hasn't opened up for me yet. I don't think I could handle being on the phone all day though, I can barely handle it for the couple hours I do now. I think I need to find another part time job because I NEED a new car. Things are just to damn complicated sometimes. I mean I suck at my job and I can't wake up for school. If I could be a sleep study patient and make my income off of that, then I would be extremely wealthy and talented at that job. Ha.

Well On the bright side of things, I'm excited for the holidays. I hate the cold weather but I am excited for Halloween, thanksgiving, christmas ect. I love the feeling of the holidays and the warmth that it can make you feel. I especially miss being a child during these times. So much more simpiler and fun. Now holidays are not as fun but I still try and get excited about them. Mostly with the change of seasons it brings on a new feeling. I love the feel of change somtimes, well positive change. I think I have a lot of positive things going on right now, even though I feel like I should be doing waaaaay more then I am. I'm content and thats all I ask to be. I'm just ready for the next steps in life. Its always exciting to feel like the next big thing is coming, and I wonder every moment what it will be. 2010 has been a weird year for me. I thought about my summer and realized that it wasn't the easiest times in my life, it actually turned out to be a rather awful time in life. My doctor told me this one time regarding my health "you don't know how sick you really feel until after you feel better." whichcan apply to my situatuion. Its cool though, you don't notice how bad things were until after they have gotten better. And now that I look back, I feel as if I'm breathing again. I can't believe I made it through that rough patch. I'm glad I didn't notice that things were that bad until now. I don't think I would have made it if I would have noticed. Of course I knew things weren't their best, I just didn't realize how bad they really were. Lucky me, I have learned from my mistakes and I have moved on, bring on whatever is next and I'll try to take it the best I can. I'm ready for new, and I'm ready for change.